The Observer – Things Kampala women are doing for men

August 10th, 2012

Getting a sparkle down below

Since the sands of time started dripping, women have gone the distance to entice and keep their men. Cleopatra and other queens before her of Egypt bathed in milk, while medieval wives wore horribly tight corsets to keep their waist constriction small.

Whatever it may be, women have done and will do anything to ensnare the alpha male. Today, Shifa Mwesigye brings you the latest hair-raising fad that women are indulging in.

There is no easy way of saying it, so I will go ahead and let you in on this: women are adding a little bling in their private parts just as they do with their ears. the feminist in them will argue that they are doing it for their own pleasure and croon, “It is my body!”

But honestly, how often will they assume a curious position in front of a mirror to admire the stud(s) down below? Let’s face it – the thrill is in getting that wow comment from the guy she lets in on the secret.

So once more, women continue to invent ways to make their men happy with the Brazilian wax, labiaplasty and vajazzle (to give the female genitals a sparkly makeover with crystals so as to enhance their appearance).

Others elongate their labias (pulling senga-style), tattoo, wear waist beads, and use herbs to tighten the nether muscles. Some cultures like the Sabiny cut off the clitoris as a ‘beauty’ enhancer never mind that female genital mutilation is now against the law.

Do men really care?

As more women dash to vajazzle, the big question remains, do men like the designer fine print? if so, would they put a sticker on their Bentleys too?

“Hell no,” Fred Muwonge, who lives in USA, says.

Muwonge says that it is sexy to the western world but he knows too well that back home any woman who picks up the trend will be branded a prostitute. Yet women find themselves with men who demand for all the above enhancements and more.

And more women feel sexy when they alter their natural settings just like American actress Pamela Anderson feels about her boobs or American singer and rapper Nicky Minaj about her well rounded artificial bum.

“Personally some tattoo and piercing earns you (a woman) bonus points. Don’t get me wrong, I hate too much tattoos and piercing. if you are somebody I am having a fling with, I don’t mind it because it’s sexy. but at the same time it’s crazy for my potential wife to have it,” Muwonge says.

Brian Otim is one man who says he can understand why women go through all the trouble: men love a little mystery.

“Well, I love a tattoo when I see one in the right places; kind of like they are giving me a hint. As for pulling, I think a woman is just good the way she was created; pulling makes it seem dead,” Otim says.

“Piercing? Is the woman not confident of her wares so that she has to add metals? my general point is you can do anything with your body that enhances the look but I don’t think it should be a permanent alteration that damages someone’s natural beauty,” Otim says.

And Raymond Mugisha agrees. he says vajazzling is like putting spinners on a Rolls Royce, Bentley or Lamborghini.

“No amount of pimping it can improve it. It’s got its value as it is. Matter of fact, pimping it takes a little something away from it,” Mugisha says.

But open-minded Peter Muwanguzi says that men like variety so changing it a little is good to spice it up.

“Even those who say they don’t like it are at least curious about it. It also depends on what tricks the woman has chosen to pimp herself with. Some men find butiiti (waist beads) repulsive bordering on witchcraft. but the majority non-sophisticated lot below Kampala road love it,” Muwanguzi says.

He says vajazzling is for the elite who have internet and keep abreast with the trends.

“My cousins in Kikuubo would frown upon that kind of stuff though the vajazzle could cross the sophistication divide. we are all for labiaplasty the more weird it looks the rummier the stories back with the boys. As a man I like to have character down there, something different, even odd,” he says.

But Gregory Smith disagrees.

“I think it’s stupid and unattractive. A woman who is sexy knows her vagina is a powerful thing on its own, one of the most powerful things on earth. She shouldn’t feel the need to add plastic stuff to it,” he says.

Some women too wouldn’t be caught pimping themselves. Jamel Nampijja says she would never be caught near a plastic surgeon’s knife or a tattooist table, at least not to please men.

“Plastic surgery is ok if one feels they need to fix something down there. I wouldn’t tattoo, tint or pierce mine for a guy to appreciate me. Would he put a sticker on his Bentley? No,” Nampijja says.

Below are some of the things women do to spruce up their privies:

Brazilian waxing

A woman shaves her pubes into different shapes like a Mohawk or a landing strip. There is no health problem beside some pain when waxing. Betty Beauty

Forty-year-old Kathleen who has tried the product says it is great. It made her feel 20 years younger. Betty Beauty is especially made as a dye for pubes. the Betty Beauty website states that you can match your hair tint and your pubes. There are no known side effects yet and it hasn’t reached Ugandan shelves. Vajazzle

This is when a woman puts Swarovski crystals on freshly waxed skin on the pubic bone area above the vagina to give the female genitals a sparkly makeover. It was popularised by American actress Jennifer Love-Hewitt who writes in her book that she shines like a disco ball. Clitoral hood piercing

Like most genital piercings, these piercings have relatively short healing times, due to the amount of blood flow to the area. during the healing period however, the piercing is a wound and can increase the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. It is believed that genital piercings provide added sexual stimulation to the genitals.

When the clitoral hood is pierced, a captive bead ring or barbell style jewellery is looped into the clitoris. A woman runs the risk of contracting infections especially when the piercing is not yet healed. In Kampala, it is done privately and costs some Shs 300,000. Labiaplasity

A story carried by BBC says that more and more women are seeking “designer vaginas” and hence go for plastic surgery to alter the look down under. if it’s too small, a woman can opt for it to be increased in size and if she feels her vagina is big, she has it reduced.

The BBC websites states that last year alone more than 2,000 labiaplasties were carried out, and in the last five years there has been a fivefold increase. the surgery costs upwards of £ 3,000. Tattoo

These can be done at Shs 100,000 or more in Kampala. Women like to tattoo a little butterfly above their groin area to make it visible when they wear low cut jeans. Some prefer tramp stamps on the back just above the bum and just like the name, they are for tramps.

Pulling the labia minora

This is as old as our ancestors in Uganda. Women elongate the labia minora to increase the larger surface area of their lady parts. Sengas (paternal aunties) encourage young girls to pull before they hit puberty in preparation for marriage because it is believed men enjoy feeling them. Tightening herbs

Women apply herbs and jell to tighten and lubricate for better sex. however, doctors say applying substances to the vagina tampers with its normal PH and increases chances of catching UTIs (urinary tract infection). This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

The Observer – Things Kampala women are doing for men

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