The Next Step In Bedazzling The Foxjazzle

February 17th, 2014

Not content with the boring old high-street staple of your diamond Vajazzle?  These more colourful staples of eccentric genital decoration could just be what you need to brighten up a dull winter….





.. just when you thought it was safe to go back into the salon….!


October 6th, 2012

I know I said in my previous article I am up for trying anything once, but Vajazzle – ing??? For those not already in the know, vajazzling is the new craze to hit the UK. It’s basically an arrangement of different crystals on your nether regions in the form of hearts and different shapes, using Swarovski crystals. Thanks to a new “Hit” TV series, the craze has been brought to the attention of millions. Reportedly this craze already has a celebrity following, so if it’s good enough for the celebs, it’s good enough for me! This can be done at the beauty salon, or behind closed doors in your own home, where kits can be bought from beauty outlets for around £5.00.

So here I go. Looking through the designs, I decide on a heart shaped crystal one. Ideally this follows your monthly wax so skin is soft and fuzz free. I purchased my kit from an online retailer and used the alcohol wipe provided to wipe the area for vajazzling clear of any moisturizer or residue and the crystals are stuck on in the arranged design. The whole treatment is totally pain free, thank goodness! And cheap and cheerful, especially as some treatments cost in excess of £50.00. So after 20 minutes of negotiating crystals in to the shape of a heart, this is seriously not easy from my angle, and using a mirror really doesn’t help, I finally have something that vaguely resembles a heart. It is strange looking down and seeing the glimmer of diamonds, but I am sure my fiance would enjoy it, or at least give him a laugh! The pack’s instructions do state the crystals can be used on any part of the body, phew!

So personally I reckon the body art would look great on tanned shoulders or backs, especially as I found my underwear was sticking as I walked about. I would recommend going to the salon or enlisting a trusted friend to help with the application, and perhaps keep it for occasions when going commando is an option. It definitely brings out your naughty side! Reading the instructions on the pack, it says it lasts between 2 and 5 days. So as the sun comes out and we don the lovely trends of the season, we can adorn our bodies with glitz and glamour. After all, “Diamonds are a girls best friend”!



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Bedazzle The Vajayjay

October 4th, 2012

VajazzleLadies, if you thought you’d seen it all with the extremities of the proverbial ‘landing strip’ or permanently pink dye poodles…feast your eyes on the beauty craze which swept over from America and crept under the bedsheets a few years back. Behold the provocatively named ‘Vajazzle’! This type of body art takes the form of rhinestone placement around the nether regions of the body; most popular on female pubic areas, but can also be modified for male adornment or other areas on both sexes.

Originally designed within the confines of a San Francisco beauty parlour around three years ago, Vajazzling hadn’t been seen on European or British  territory until the last year or so – most noticeably on “The Only Way Is Essex” series on UK television last year.

So what exactly does this craze  for body sparkle involve? It appears to be very easy indeed. Simply a case of prewaxing the desired area of your body, making sure it’s towelled dry, then placing the Swarovski crystals in a pattern or design of your choice  in strategic formation with the use of tweezers. Each crystal is then pressed down firmly for a few seconds for the adhesive to ‘take’, then the person waits a little while before dressing. And that’s it! Vajazzled!

Various websites enthuse on such matters, claiming their clients have already carried out home experiments with regards to worries on ‘after care problems’….Namely, if the vajazzling is placed on the female pubic area, does it hurt or chafe the male during intercourse??? The answer was a resounding “NO, not a problem as the crystals are smooth”!

Your vajazzle should last a few days, and obviously it’s a good idea to wear loose fitting clothes. The crystals can be re-used, with a skin-safe adhesive; and keep them stored carefully to minimise scratching. You could also try them in different areas – like above the waist or on your back; just have fun with it. Or , alternatively head off to Essex for a contemporary adornment complete with entertainment!


Tess Egerton (copyright) 2012 edit

Patrick Strudwick: There’s a wild beast at large in Essex – snobbery

August 30th, 2012

I urge the people of Essex to stay indoors. a dangerous animal is on the loose: classism. in the past 48 hours, Britain has erupted in a paroxysm of sneering snobbishness. With the news that a lion might have been roaming the outermost fields of Clacton, a much wilder beast showed its face: the acceptable hatred of the (apparently) moneyed working class.

And so, Twitter has seen "lion" and "Essexlion" become its most discussed topics, as the incident is used to deride the people of this county. Essexism, it seems, is the last unchallenged prejudice.

First, countless supposedly hilarious pictures of the lion emerged: big cats with Photoshop-ed bouffant hairdos, because, of course, everyone in Essex has ridiculous hair. they have ridiculous hair, so the notion goes, because the men and women of Essex have no taste. they simply have money. And for the middle and upper classes, that will never be enough. Only "old" money ushers you into the upper echelons. however much a working-class person has "made good" – and that’s a phrase that exposes the belief that the higher the strata, the greater the virtue – they will never be accepted.

And then there ensued a torrent of feline-themed Essex jokes. one of the more followed journalists on Twitter, who calls herself FleetStreetFox, and who has a column in the Daily Mirror Online – which, of course, has a substantial working-class readership – wrote: "#Essexlion will be several shades darker than most lions, French manicured claws and a taste for WKD." thus, she niftily encapsulates three stereotypes in one: fake tan, fake nails and the "wrong" kind of dipsomania – one that is fuelled by cheap booze. The 18th-century outrage over proles binging on gin is alive and well.

Even The Observer columnist and broadcaster Lauren Laverne, who is from Sunderland, itself an oft-derided area for similar reasons, poked the escaped animal with a snob stick: "Hope they manage to find the Essex lion before somebody persuades it to get mane extensions and a vajazzle." here she is making reference to The Only Way Is Essex, the television reality show which serves as a cornerstone for Essexism, by cherry-picking the most extreme embodiments of the county’s female stereotypes.

How accurate are these representations? Does Helen Mirren fit the stereotype? Does Simon Amstell? Did Dudley Moore? Or, for that matter, my mother, who was born in Ilford yet somehow managed to become a lecturer and local councillor without ever having a manicure or spray tan? (Not that there’s anything wrong with these things.)

There is no moral difference between laughing at people simply because of where they were born and mocking people because of the amount of melanin in their skin, their chromosomal makeup or their inability to walk.

And I should know. I’m from Guildford.

Patrick Strudwick: There’s a wild beast at large in Essex – snobbery

Oxford Updates Online Dictionary With Words That Would Make Jonathan Swift Cringe

August 28th, 2012

Photobomb circa 2011

The Oxford English Dictionary rarely makes news, but it’s added slew of new words and phrases is just too ridic to not write about here.

As we perused the list of chosen words, we noticed that some of the additions were tech-based, while others were nothing more than slang gone way too far.

In a weird way, the words showed the two extremes of the younger English generation: there are the tech geeks, hackers, and Internet geniuses who innovate when they’re not too busy doing Star Trek reenactments, and there are those who use social media to post pictures of themselves that no one wants to see.

But at the very least, adding these words to the dictionary can help us youngsters explain to our elders what we mean when we use words like “mmk,” “tweep,” “totes,” and “vajazzle.”

So here they are — the latest crop of words. How many of them make you say WTF?

Maybe some of these words shouldn’t have made the jump from Urban Dictionary to the Oxford English Dictionary, because let’s face it, how many of them can you read with a British accent (how the OED is read) without losing the effect?

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Oxford Updates Online Dictionary With Words That Would Make Jonathan Swift Cringe